THE DOORMAN

The curtains are pulled together,
Equally and coevally
Inimical to the raids of the light
That hangs by its fingernails
Outside on the windowsill,
A beam or two
Still gleams through
Every now and then.

These cavernous innards of the hall

Full of emptiness,
And sounds that hover unsurely in the silence
Waiting to land,
And shadows that bend crookedly at the corners
Where the dark meets the indiscernible,
Seem like the confines of infinity
It is a bit claustrophobic here.

Why are the walls moist and peeling?

Has courage been incontinent?
What is this thickness in the air?
Did the spiders of despair
Weave their gloomy cobwebs
Across escape doors of the mind?
Maybe it’s the clock’s turn
To sink in the sea of time.

From the corner of my eyes I see him

Walking in from where hope died,
His boots dragging my fears behind them
The doorman who wants to be my jailor.

*****

ANOTHER MAN'S WIFE

Waiting in the bistro

Sipping my attentions

Fervid

Your allure grows.

Demure in silence

A knowing coy

Passive

Your allure grows.

The silken vile

The coarse naïve

Textured

Your allure grows.

I stare and yearn

Hope and dream

Risque

Your allure grows.

The spousal secrets, revealed

Of betrothed love

Taken

Your allure grows.

It singes, my temporal love

To not have you

Eternized

In even a photograph.

BETWEEN FRIENDS

Somewhere above the crimson skies
And beneath the grungy netherworld
Shrouded in the your dark brilliance
I dimmed away my flame.

No you didn’t land me a cut
But I am bled nevertheless
With the knife of your nod
I severed off my limbs.

And what if you brought me oars
To sail this sluice of hope;
I may not swim the tides
Wet from the gore of my gouge.

So let the wound sieve
And the husk of pain be mine,
What slips through the pores shall
Be the ruse of your smile.

THE SEA SONG

He pulls the tide to the shore
From the watery depths of anonymity
Past the fishing boats at dawn
To the feet of the little princess
That danced in the sands of joy
On the music of the rains.

He throws back the waves
After a rocky storm at the docks
Curdling and coiling, chastened
Into the grave of time
To guard the sleep of her eyes
From eloping with the night.

Will the wet knots of her hair
Chain the fires of his heart forever?

THE BECKONING

Every now and then
From the edges of her kurtis
And the flares of her jeans
Life beckons.

Daily phonecalls to home
Rehearsed down to the silences;
And the bark of the petted dog
The books splintered with words
A folder full of music
Life beckons.

I smoke away the voice
Killing myself a bit,
The time to live is long gone
I was born late.

The tears aren’t coming;
The fears are.
Will I live unlived?
Will I die alive?
I am deaf with doubts whenever
Life beckons.

SEHAR

Sehar Hui Toh Suraj Ne Socha
Kya Aaj Ka Din Kuch Juda Hoga...
Roz Sulagta Hoon Khaak Tak Main,
Khaak Ka Bhi Toh Kahin Khuda Hoga...

Kab Se Seench Raha Hoon Falak Ko Aag Se
Lekin Raat Ki Raeth Wahin Padi Hai Patthar Banke,
Roshni Ke Mere Paudhon Mein Deemak Ki Tarah
Waqt Baitha Hai Zindagi Ki Keemat Banke...

Sochta Hoon Aaj Safar Na Karoon,
Sochta Hoon Aaj Bakhar Karoon,
Naukri Hi Toh Hai, Chutti Maar Loon,
Thoda Si Neend Zyada Vaar Loon...

Arsa Ho Gaya Manmaani Kiye Hue,
Falak Pe Thehre Abr Se Piye Hue,
Abr Ki Daraaron Mein Chup Chup Ke
Baarishon Ke Mausam Ka Mazaa Liye Hue...

Kab Tak Yun Hi Jalta Rahoonga Main,
Kab Tak Dhalta Rahoonga,
Jism Pe Kharoche Aa Gayi Hain Ab Toh
Hawavon Pe Rengte Rengte...

Waqt Besharm Hai Bada, Phir Bulaa Raha Hai Aaj,
Kaash Mere Kaanon Mein Moum Hota,
Ae Khuda, Ab Toh Bas Kar Ki Bahut Hua,
Mere Sehar Mein Zehar Bahut Hua.

THE SONG OF SOLITUDE

Sometimes I want my shadow around
To make up for the lack of human sound,
He talks to me about whatever I wanted
So much that I covet the haunted.

I stare at my own reflection
If only he was another person,
We could meet up and see around the town
His cheer could make up for my frown.

I deliver monologues at the table
He listens as if they were a fable,
I cannot understand what he thinks of me
It is difficult to know the phony.

I hear random noises from nowhere
The talker seems to dissolve into thin air,
Every search for him goes in vain
Is he just a puzzling figment of my brain?

I touch the ventilator’s wire mesh
It is a poor proxy for living flesh,
My shins ache and my bums need a stool
But there is no one to do the needful.

Loneliness, you eat up all my time
Go away; be not a despondent prelude,
Company, I seek you in this rhyme
Come to me and rid me of solitude.

YAARI

Teri yaari mein yaar guzaara na hua,
Alvida kehne mein dard dobaara na hua.

Ek woh khushiyon ki daali thi,
Aur hatheli khaali thi,
Shazar ka bhi magar tujhe nazaara na hua,
Afsos mera khwaab tumhaara na hua,
Teri yaari mein yaar guzaara na hua.

Door kshitij ki bulandi thi,
Maana raftar mein mere mandi thi,
Par thoda sa intezaar tujhe gawaara na hua,
Khudgarzi se tera kabhi ubaara na hua,
Teri yaari mein yaar guzaara na hua.

Jad toh tera hi vaada tha,
Ki meri tanhayi mein shaqs ek zyada tha,
Vaadon ka magar mujhe sahara na hua,
Gham ke galiyon se kabhi chutkaara na hua,
Teri yaari mein yaar guzaara na hua.

Teri yaari mein yaar guzaara na hua,
Alvida kehne mein dard dobaara na hua.

EYES

Whenever I scan your face,
I am left with a query to raise:
Is your gaze my antidote
Or is it my malaise?

My mind dissipates into delirium,
My soul inseminates with a waking,
The lust of your look lynches me so
My life begs you its taking.

Were I to die unblinking, here and now,
Sloshed with the stare of desire;
What would it be if not my rebirth
At the smouldering funeral pyre?

Will your eyes be just my seduction,
Or will they be my love for the night?
What shall my stares accomplish,
What is the apogee of my sight?

BADLI

Raaston ki aadat hai raahi ko badalna,
Har mod pe manzil ke tassawur ko badalna,
Khud ki mazaar pe chaadar chadhaney mein hai khair mera
Ki Kafir ki fitrat hai apne Elahi ko badalna.

Har lamhe ki chahat hoti hai apne mustaqbil ko badalna,
Apni rukhsaton ke badnaseeb manzar ko badalna,
Inhi koshishon mein nikal gayi jo zindagani meri
Ki ab uski hasrat hai maazi-e-buzdil ko badalna.

Kuch rishton ki mashaqqat hai meri kaynaat ko badalna,
Chehre ke peeche ke insaan ko badalna,
Shukraguzar nahin main unka lekin khush hun unse
Ki kisi ki toh aarzoo hai mere haalat ko badalna.

Badli hi agar zindagi hai toh kya zindagi hai yeh,
Main chahta hoon iss maut ke aaghaz ko badalna.


English Translation: CHANGE

It is the habit of the roads to change the traveler,
To change the idea of destination at every turn,
It is in my interest to offer prayers at my own mausoleum
For it is the wont of the non-believer to change his God.

Every moment wants to change its own future,
To change the unlucky prospect of its departure,
My lifespan that was wasted in such pursuits
It now desires to change its cowardly past.

Some relations labour to change my world,
To change the person behind the face,
I am not thankful to them but I am happy with them
For at least someone aspires to change my situation.

If change is life, then what life is this,
I wish to change this beginning of death.